Відео

That’s me toos. Opdd2. Yeah it’s very complicated

I hope you're all in therapy. The fragmentation of DID is not healthy, and not "cute." The therapeutic goal is to INTEGRATE the alters into one cohesive personality.

OMGGGGG IVE BEEN MISSING YOUR CONTENT SO MUCH this is the first video I’ve seen since you’ve returned I had no idea you came back to UA-cam and I’m so so happy to see you back and have one of my biggest comfort creators educating again!!

Man, poor Lito. Hope Kim Kim is having a good day today.

Cbd feels like it makes internal speech clearer, anyone else experience this?

I thought you were a little too chipper to be KimKim. The fusion seems to agree with you! How many alters are there, now?

I've had to rewind this multiple times to see if that was a cat or tortoise walk out the door. My brain kept seeing a tortoise. But every time I rewound it to see if it really was, I already forgotten to watch the door and I had to rewind again. Very cute kitty btw haha.

I was an 80’s kid & back then “Schizo” was a synonym for MPD now DID. It was misunderstood on a level I can’t easily explain. You mentioned people believing that they are mythical creatures or animals. I’d be curious about the relationship between Otherkin & sonas to DID

Thankfully I don’t have DID (because it seems difficult & comes from trauma, not because it’s bad) but I’ve imagined myself as several distinct avatars of my soul. I believe in & remember multiple reincarnations & I wonder if that plays a role in creating Systems. Maybe Systems draw on previous lives/personas to help support the traumatised child of this lifetime

I am so glad I came back to look after it's been so long. I have dissociation and derealization fairly bad bit not DID and watched your content and a few others by stumbling into the community. I just met two guys who have DID and it feels kinda sweet to be the odd one out of ppl actually knowing what it's like and I'm really glad yall showed me this beautiful life you live. ❤❤❤❤ also wow I remember all of you guys from years ago, but I can't remember where I leave my keys!!!!????

I love your hair. <3

Final fusion... is scary!

I don't think any of these tests were available back in the day we were diagnosed. I'm not familiar with any of them. Then again, those early days are so blurry now. it was 22 years ago.

😃 ...oh! that uh. explains some things

5:25 I was also abused by many of my family members and their friends throughout my entire childhood. It is so painful, I'm glad that I am able to dissociate from the pain at times. I'm so sorry you went through a similar experience. 😔

I am so grateful to have an update on how the system is doing! I came back to the channel to rewatch some videos and was pleasantly surprised to see new ones. Congrats on the full time job!

I don’t know if you still look at comments, but I wrote one with an IT specialist who’s Alter is a hacker that was created to help him make money and get expand his skills within the IT industry, is that alright?

❤Good

We're a diagnosed OSDD 1b system. We originally had decided to go the functional multiplicity route for our healing (at the highest active altar count we had 91 alters), but a year ago after we watched multiplicity and Me's video about they're final fusion; our opinion changed. We all wanted the number down. There are too many of us for us to function properly. We decided on Final Fusion or get as close as we can to it. It’s the only thing we’re ever all collectively agreed on. We want to feel whole. I (the host) I have since October of last year (2023) already fused with four different alters. I’ve gained so much love for myself and new skills that those four alters held. After the fourth one my negative thinking combined with the other alter’s positive outlook. Canceling out my negative outlook, and even giving me a bit of a positive outlook on life. I’ve gained more than I’ve lost. I love all of my system, they’re family to me. When we fuse there not gone there still there just different. The four different alters I fused with are still here; they're just part of my whole piece of the pie we up. If that makes sense.

With talking about drawing alters, I have a kinda funny story. So about a month ago now, I was trying to do an accurate drawing of one of my alters. This alter is a fictive, so I knew what he looked like already, but drawing him was pretty difficult since the slightest incorrect proportions made him look off. So while I was attempting to draw him, he cofronted and started started directing/criticizing my work. "You gotta draw it like this! No, no, that's wrong!" He never said it mean, but he was trying really hard to help me out and I just couldn't do it right. Eventually, he was like "Can I try?" and I let him. He then proceeded to do an amazing job! He did such a good job compared to me! He's kinda OCD so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that he was so detail oriented and that he knew how to draw himself! He is self conscious about his appearance though, so it's still kinda odd.

I had a rough blending experience a few days ago that lasted for like 3 days. Turned out that at least part of the issue was that my alters wanted to be out but being out was giving them gender dysphoria (I, the core and host, am the only female in both biological and identity sense while all the others are either male or agender). They did not like the fact that I had been wearing bras recently (I am very small breasted so I can often get away with not wearing a bra so they're used to no bras). It was also very interesting the first time two of my boys blended as they did it on purpose to see how well that could potentially help them with some functions. Two heads are better than one, right? Well... That first time they did it it was very uncoordinated but quite amusing to witness from the background. At times, they did okay, but sometimes they would just completely freeze since they'd be putting out opposing commands. It could be very well compared to tug-o-war. Two alters in equal strength pulling in opposite directions only resulted in the rope not moving.

I'm glad to hear validation on my condition. No one's ever invalidated me, but I also don't talk about it too much, but I sometimes worry that I'm somehow faking it because I became super interested in DID as a teen when I discovered that it was an actual condition that people could get (I thought for years that it was just a fictional topic, so it was really cool to discover that it was actually legit for me) and because I've yet to get a diagnosis. But I know that I had the condition before I knew it was more than just a fictional concept and even when I did discover DID, I still didn't think that I had it because I didn't realize how much of a spectrum it was and thought that I might have something else until just last year when one of my alters made it obvious to my autistic brain that I likely have either DID or OSDD.

That's really interesting! I think that headspace worlds are always cool to hear about. Just last night one of my alters was talking to me about the headspace. I, the core and host, haven't really seen the headspace in detail, so it was really cool to have it described to me. Apparently ours is broken up into different realms for each of my alters. They have a main hub world, but they have their own worlds that can be accessed through houses in the hub world. The alter describing the headspace to me also sorta gave me brief images of what the worlds looked like.

So that's what "Identity" is about. I remember watching that film in my teens and not understanding it well. Also, I'm glad there's at least one film with positive representation. I'll have to watch it someday.

Man, That's wild... And thank you for sharing with us! I'm honestly surprised that something like that hasn't happened to us yet if it ever were to happen! I have a father figure alter, who's cofronting as I type this, and he really resonated with Jonathan's fear/concern of becoming obscure. So much so that he started tearing up... I hadn't even realized that he'd had similar concerns... He does tend to be silent about his troubles...

This is very fascinating and now makes me wonder how much of my "normal" behaviors as a kid weren't actually that normal! I've not been diagnosed with anything (at least yet) but I think I've got OSDD. But it took me years to even realize what's been happening with me. The first alter I remember gaining, came when I was 14. I discovered DID at either 15 or 16, but still didn't realize what was going on because I thought that my experience was too different to be DID. I didn't realize at the time that it's a bit of a spectrum and had thought that it was exactly one way and only one way. So before I realized what was going on, I thought I had stuff like Schizophrenia or Psychosis, despite not really having hallucinations, or Bipolar disorder. It wasn't until one of my alters made it very obvious that I was like "wait a minute..." It took me 6 years to even consider DID or OSDD despite knowing about it for 4 or 5 years...

😃

Could you make a video on BPD vs DID? I know they can often be comorbid, but I'm having trouble with BPD unstable sense of self and DID switching (especially non-possessive switching which I would also love a vid on). I'm wondering if I'm a system, but if I am I have non-possessive switches instead of possessive and complete amnesia of the inner world and who parts were in the inner world when different parts are fronting.

I was suspecting and 'forgetting' the suspicion of having DID for about two or three years before something bad happened and everyone started talking loudly at once bc they were scared another host would 'retire' on them. 😅

I have DID & was diagnosed 3 years ago. We have at least 8 identities within us & some of them have harmed the host recently. 🇦🇺

THIS!!!

I've been doing research 1-a because I have such terrible memory issues and I dissociate alot. I thought this was all due to my depression and autism, but after the research about autism and trauma im starting to see if I should bring this up with a doctor

❤

I thought it was a really good movie, but after it was done I was so scared indeed , of myselves.

❤

My sister told me she didnt remember much of our childhood. And i said I wish mine was like that and I was like 👀 girl you are there is tons of stuff and then I was like 👀 what? And then I Was I didnt hear that "part" for a while. She broke rules I suppose lol.😢 Thank you for sharing

Hey I’m just finding out that you’re back. I’m glad you’re doing well enough to be here again!!! As I’ve learned about did, I’ve wanted to write a fictional book about someone who has did that is the hero of their story, not the villain.

coincidentally i came to a similar metaphor just a few days before watching this, but instead i thought of a plate. though the context was that i was thinking about how i would respond to someone asking who the "original" is. my answer being: if you drop a plate and it breaks into pieces, which piece is the original?

we experience passive influence a lot and did know about it, though did not know all these things were considered passive influence anyway for a kind of funny but also slightly annoying example: theres one member of our system who, almost everytime hes near the front, involuntarily causes us to speak english with a (bad imitation of a) british accent even though hes not the one fronting. thankfully i dont live in an english speaking country so its not something people notice (it only affects english and not other languages)

See you back and know that all of you are so much better makes us really happy, your channel help us a lot at the beginning of our journey as a system, you made us feel not alone and afraid. Thank you for everything and for being back -Joshua

When I was diagnosed, so much made sense that I had to debunk the fact I had alters. Backward response, but I just had overcome BPD, now THIS?! Despite how much sense it made, I couldn't take it. Finally one of the soothers came to me and we had a talk, which, did and did not blow my mind. I've always known that as a child I "had friends in my head" that I told NO ONE about (I was raised in a cult, so...yeah), and what I thought was guiding voices or intuition/instincts speaking up. On top of that, I'd built an innerworld when I was a kid, and as an adult, you could trigger me into what I thought was maladaptive daydreaming with so much as a sigh. (No, I'm not kidding. It took literally nothing to trigger me.) I talked to my therapist about it, and wondered if a way to overcome it was possible. She asked if there were people in daydreams, and I said yes, then, she asked if those people replied without my prompting or "making up" a reply for them. I thought about this, as since I was a child these people existed, some changed, some didn't, but, yes, they did have their own responses. That's when it was test time. She asked if I've ever lost time, and I said yes, but to my knowledge, it was only following a horrible and harrowing event that was traumatizing on levels. Just pick your favorite, thats how many. She nodded, and said it be OSDD 1B, due to how strongly these people were, and so on. It all made so much sense, I decided NOPE, IT'S MIGHTY MORPHIN DEBUNKIN TIME! Until the test came back, I made two lists of why I do, and why I don't have alters, and asked everyone under the sun that knew me well if they noticed voice/mannerism/reaction/etc., changes, and all of them said yes and gave detailed incidents. I was floored, to say the least. But during this time, I had an event where I was waiting for my husband to do some quick shopping in the car, and vibing to the radio. "Heart of Glass" by Blondie came on, and I was getting INTO that vibe and I car-danced like no one cared. Then something happened, where I'd titled my head to the left, and part of me fell. I say part, because I was still (later) changing radio stations from the back and forth buttons on the steering wheel, to keep what the other part of me fell into, which was a total dance party. They where smiling, laughing, and we all danced together, while the other part changed stations, almost robotically. It wasn't until my husband tapped on the window, so I could unlock the car. He giggled and said it was cute how into the song I was, and I nervously laughed with some bad vertigo, and just "lol yeah" my way out. It wasn't a rare sight to see me into music, of for which I'm glad because wtf just happened? Wtf was that, and how was the feeling of falling so real? How was I half in, half out? I had so many questions. Thats when the soother came to me, and we talked. I rebuffed her at first, but she was persistent until I was too annoyed to stop her.(😂) She explained they were real, and they just wanted recognition, and freedom from the closed off, blender alter spin they'd all been in. Some were going to be a handful, sure, but that there was a group that wanted to just help. Help me, help us. I said I still needed the test results, and she nodded, said she knew, but to keep them in mind if a tricky diagnosis test said otherwise. It did not. I started accepting them, and while no part of this has been easy, accepting them HAS actually made things easier. I no longer became triggered into maladaptive daydreams, and the group that wanted to help, really has. We rebuilt the innerworld (as per suggested by our therapist, for safety reasons), and they help me, I help them, and we deal with those who aren't as helpful...or nice. One just wants to be left alone, so we just let him have that 😂. It's not easy, and helpful or not, we fight, they fight, upset, frustration and so on. Having others in your head isn't a fun cakewalk at all. But I realized they're parts of me who took hits when I couldn't. I have to love an accept them, all of them, if I'm going to love and accept myself. We're pretty sure I'm the core, as I'm always stuck in the front, and to our knowledge, holds most of the memories, despite them knowing they hold a few or more memories from mostly my childhood and teenage years, but we don't know anything about the lost time after the aforementioned event. All of this to say, our therapist told us we didn't have to become "whole" to be considered "healed", we just had to find a way to work together in a ways that makes us happy, and in a healthy way. We were glad to hear this, because while we don't fear fusing and integration, we also kinda don't want to? We like ourselves respectively, and while it's not easy, we're generally fine with how we are as parts. So thanks for coming to our orgin story TedTalk? 😅

I have OSDD 1B, and it's just really nice to feel validated. I get "fakeclaim"-ed all the time, and it's frustrating, especially just trying to figure out stuff about me and my alters that's not blatant misinformation. We're 5 years late, but from us, we say thank you! ❤❤❤

What’s your twitch name ? I can’t find it under the entropy system

Hi. I find your videos and kind spirit very helpful. I am three alters, we share memory, etc and are fluid most of the time. Most of the time our center has the lead, with varying and unpredictible influence from the left and right sides. We all picked our names, and have different however mostly exclusive strengths and weaknesses. Our left holds 90% of human emotion, as well as the trauma which of course the memory is irretrievable. The Center houses reason, logic, diplomacy, temperate-ness. The right, dare i say is a monster and as base a human as there can possibly be. He is as intelligent as the center, but does not think much, only judges and forms wickedly sharp opinions. We only became self aware pretty recently. Our whole life was confusion because we did not know what we were. We do not think final fusion will be possible, the left and right sides despise each other, and carry characteristics on the extreme end of the spectrum. The left, because of the trauma is weak emotionally, or should i say extremely sensitive and easily roused to hurt, sadness, or even love. The right has only the emotions rejected by the left, mainly hatred, anger, apathy, disgust. And I am in the middle just trying to keep the peace and avoid precarious situations to ourselves or those in our sphere. I would love to have a talk with you but i know that's not possible. Right now i am planning to get us into therapy but the left is scared and the right thinks it is a waste of time. Needless to say as regulator i have a very difficult job. I don't know what our future will be, looks pretty bleak honestly. Our life is pretty much in ruin otherwise, we've failed in every area of our collective existence. But I digress.

As someone with DID I'm glad you liked it I love Oscar him and Pedro Pascal are my favorite actors working today I hope everyone can learn something from this I definitely did

i somehow never caught that you missed out on 16yrs before this. i’m assuming the person filming was host prior to something that put someone else as host for like 16yrs ? wild. i used to watch you in roughly 2019, kind of guessing because i barely remember. i will be rewatching some stuff to see if it comes back. glad to see you’re doing pretty well!

I have no influence from outside of myself that would make me use the word original, and up until less than a week ago I didn't even think I would have a need to use that word. Until she accidentally got ripped out during ketamine treatment. All of my parts are very, very different from what she is. We are all there to protect her and unfortunately also kind of lock her away. I was always curious as to why we were so highly emotional and dysfunctional when I thought parts were supposed to be there to help me be 'normal'. But it's really seeming like we took all the hits so she didn't have to. When she came out for those 2 hours she was scared and everything was loud but she was strong and kind and 4 years old. I've never doubted what anyone else has said their experience is, but to experience 4-year-old me being pulled through 30 years of memories and experiencing them seemingly all at the same time is indescribable. Time did not make sense memory did not make sense, because it was all happening at once and this was long after my session was over. I was sober. I never would have thought that there was a core, but she is that when we've always referred to as precious and cherished. Before I knew of my diagnosis I referred to her as my inner child, but I had not the slightest idea that she was a literal entirely separate mind that barely knew how to work a cell phone.

What do you think about the author of structural dissociation being stripped of his licence? Do you still believe this theory? Good to see you again ❤

holy hell, i did not know this was a thing